Ok so, a bit has happened since the last entry that I’d been meaning to update but never gotten the chance to. First, and quite triumphantly, I’ve been able to get closer back to the swing of things – which is just going to the pool regardless of mood, or ensuring it’s just the “right” time or quiet enough to wear swim thongs.
So this breakthrough happened sometime in November (mid to start of the last week) where after the rise in confidence and motivation had the chance to go for a few sessions. Mind you this was after an entire week of debating, tentatively penciling in on going on a certain day and time (morning or afternoon) and then completely reneging on the day itself.
This was great as I was able to get back to what I would like to enjoy or like to be normalized – being able to wear my swim thongs casually and without apprehension or outside interference.
This was great as I was able to get back to what I would like to enjoy or like to be normalized – being able to wear my swim thongs casually and without apprehension or outside interference.
[November 30th – December 5th] Fast forward to December where I’m on a trip Mauritius to visit my wife and daughter, which is the greatest reason for jubilation. Alongside which, it’s a warm country with plenty of sunshine and just so happens to be getting into summer time while the Northern Hemisphere has already entered into the biting cold and bleary skies.
With this in mind, I had come here packing my smallest, and second smallest, swim rios. And also ordered a half-hip swim brief from Alixpress.
I ordered it in a size small which was supposed to be for 28″-30″ waist. It looks quite tiny while holding it but does stretch out and offers a great fit. The cut has a nice V-shape in the front with a “Rio” or half back which frames the back beautifully. The material has a blue graphic pattern and the suit is unlined but does have a drawstring. Perhaps size medium would be great to try next – not to mention it has a thong back option as well :). This was to complement my other Rio suits and something to wear at the beach or pool as I wasn’t too sure about thongs in Mauritius or around my family.
With that in mind, the first session to hit the water happened to be a day at local resort type hotel with pools and ample lounging area. Based on my wife’s concern/slight admonishing about it not being suitable for a “family oriented” place, I decided to wear my short TYR shorts. This had a built in brief and is only 5″-6″ length, sort of like runner’s shorts. I’d cut out the inner brief years ago and wore it with my ASOS swim thong. Even that which I was worried might show the thong outline while wet as the impression seemed somewhat evident while putting it on in the changing room.
It was not quite the experience I wanted and pool areas were not quite packed but still enough to be not quite secluded. It had a mix of locals and a few foreigners. The make up were either couples, small familial groups, or late teens – early 20s somethings. The last groupings either being either fully female or a mix of males, females and a few older family members.
With that I hardly wanted to do anything let along change into my swimwear, but eventually obliged to keep my wife and daughter happy. The entire session was just a highly subdued experience – whether from other stresses or just not feeling like I could pull off anything close to wearing what I wanted to due to cultural or hotel rules – not even swim briefs. Not once did I even think that I was missing the chance to do what I want as I felt so deflated, unsure and very apprehensive to even think about it in my mind. It was like going back a decade and a half and feeling completely self/other body shamed into feeling ridiculous and that “men just shouldn’t or don’t wear anything but long board shorts.”
I didn’t even bring any of my full swim briefs with me, although I did have my aussiebum swim brief from years ago at my wife’s home. But if I couldn’t wear my rio or thongs, why bother wearing a brief at all. And to be honest the dejection and mood while there wouldn’t have helped to wear a full brief either. I even felt apprehensive and self conscious in just the shorts.
[December 14th -15th] Well that was until a day or two ago. I was looking to get set up at the gym and would most definitely be wearing my swim rios and will ask if it’s thong friendly as well when signing up – got that spark, determination and excitement back! As well my bro-in-law and I decided to go together so went to shop for some gym gear at Decathlon, along with his wife. After picking up some shoes and gym shorts, I managed to pick up one of their nabi swim briefs, which is a good cut swim brief at a low price. After that I was looking at swimming caps when my bro-in-law wandered over. Somehow got to the conversation of what I would wear and hinted at it being not quit PG or skimpy – not quite uttering the ‘T’ word. Not sure how but this was brought up, but it was also somehow touched upon much prior to that as well. So won’t be a total surprise when it happens but based on how typical folks who are scared of generic speedos are, and refer to them as “budgie smugglers,” I can all but guess how exactly it would go down.
On a side note, it’s odd still seeing folks like that, as a matter of curiosity as it contrasts with the almost non-reactive, non-chalant faces I’ve come across in Ireland. I will be looking to post updates on that after the session and when time permits so stay tuned.
